Alucard's odd feelings
by Polly Jean
Summary: What would happen if Alucard had some feelings towards Walter? R&R or else the naugthy little alcoholicbunnymonster comes and eats you without chewing ;)Now updated but still not ready. God...this is gonna be a long story.
1. Walters tight little

Alucard was staring the roof as he laid in his opened coffin. It was almost 4 p.m and he still didn't feel sleepy. Something was bothering him. Something that happened last nite when he met half-dressed Walter who was going to bathroom. It felt like a bunch of butterflies, or better to say, bunch of bats were flying in his stomatch when he saw Walter in those teeny-weeny strings. He wouldn't never guessed that Walter would wear strings. When he was memorizing this his pants suddenly start feeling uncomfortable. It was a suprise to him to have feelings like this. He was a teenager since last time he felt something like this, and it was almost 600 years ago.

Something had to be done or else he would turn mad (it's not like he already wasn't one).

He got up and took his sunglasses from the bedside table and went throught the roof to the kitcen above. As usually Walter was there. He watched him working for a while. He had never before noticed that Walter was still in so good shape. How good those black pair of pants looked on his tight little...(Hah, I'm not gonna say it aloud).

Then Walter turned around and Alucard woke from his dirty daydreaming.

- Sir Alucard? Shall I ask you what are you doing here in daytime? Shouldn't you be having your beautysleep?

- I Couldn't have sleep. I was wondering could you make me some warm milk?

- Well, of course sir.

And again Walter turned aroud to make some warm milk to the Unholy King. And Alucard was (again) able to enjoy the lovely sight of Walters tight little...(Goddammed I'm not going to say it aloud!)

Walter felt the vampire's look at his tight little...Had he left something iteresting in his pocket? Then he remebered that he had left a cherry tasting lollypop on his pocket.

- Are you perhaps staring at this, sir? Walter took the lollypop out of his backpocket and offered it to Alucard.

- It's of course not mine. But I was visiting my brother earlier today and I forgot to give this to his daughter. You can have it, if you want to.

- Umh...

- Go ahead. There's notin' to be a shamed of. We all got our little secrets. I, for exmple, like eating those bubblegums from automatics.

Alucard took the lollipop from Walters hand.

- Well...thank you... Oh, I just remembered that I needed to visit Itegral. See ya.

Alucard left the kitchen through the wall behind (even there was an open door next to it).

- Damn. Why I have to be such a covard? Alucard asked himself. He was wondering while wandering around the Hellsing mansion. Why couldn't he tell Walter about his feeling. Then realised that he still had the lollipop Walter gave to him.

- This was so close to his tight little...(You just don't get it, do you? I'm not saying it.) Then he thought "Wat the hell, why not?" and took off the paper around the lollipop. It wasn't so bad at all. Actually kind of delicious. He could still smell Walter's, you know wat, in it. Then he started to dream again and leaned the wall next to him. He didn't even realise, untill it was too late, that he started to go through the wall. He fall right in to Integral's office.

Integral was doing some paperworks when he suddenly heard big a _thumb _and right after it a loud _ouch_. Alucard was lying on the floor with a lollipop.

- Alucard? Are you eating a lollipop? Integral asked.

- What? No...I'm just... He said and got up.

- You are eating a lollipop...HAHAHAHAHAHA!

- You should clean this office more often you got really dirty floors here, Alucard said trying to hide his discomfiture.

Integral was laughing so much that almost fell off the chair. Then a knock came from the door.

- Y-yes, Integral said laughing. Walter opened the door and stepped in.

- Sir, I was just looking for Alucard. He said he would stop by you. And look, he is still here. Sir, your warm milk is ready. I took it to your room.

- Warm milk? Integral said laughing even more untill he fall off the chair (And kept laughing).

Alucard felt his dignity was hurt so he left lookin' so sad throuhg floor to his own room to drink warm milk Walter had made for him. Integral's laugh still reamining in his ears.


	2. Bad Dreams Are Made Of These

After drinkin' his warm milk the Undead Monster tried to get some sleep. Soon he was sleeping like a princess in his coffin. But nightmares came knockin' his mind. Not any typical nightmare of his. Usually his nightmares were about this giant cheescake with pink tie and silky shoes chasing him around the Hellsing mansion screaming " Let's make peace, not War!"He tried to shoot it but his bullets had turned into colourfull butterflies and birds. And suddenly all he was wearing was a rainbow-coloured tie with little hearts on it. And his hair was tied up with baby blue scarf. Usually he woke up screaming. He had to always take his gun and check out its ammunitions. Then he ran to the mirror and checked his hair for dangerous baby blue scarfs. Next half hour he spent saying himself that it was just a dream, it was just dream, there are no giant cheescakes and bullets wont turn into butterflies...

But this nighmare was nothing like that. He was in large room. The walls seemed to fall over him, so high they were. He couldn't even see the roof. It was all black but there were bright lights everywhere. Then voices came over. Integral, Seras, Walter, Andrew and others were wishpering something. First he couldn't hear anything but then they started to yell. "Alucard, Alucard... you must say something", "Say something", "Quietness is for bad", "Somebody wants to hear you." They kept screaming to his ear. He couldn't take it anymore so he woke up. All the shields were wet from his sweat.

- My God. I gotta say something...

It was 6 o'clock in the evening. Alucard went to Victoria's room. She was still sleeping. He didn't care for that. He opened her coffin.

- Police Girl! Wake up! It's me, your master!

- Wha...

- I need to talk to you.

- What. Are you up this soon? Master are you okay? Did something happen while I was asleep? Did the freaks attack! Seras got up fast.

- No, no. I just need to ask you...um... If you liked someone...How would you say it to him?

- You woke me up just to ask that? She sat down to her bed.

- Could you answer me?

- Why? Master, do you have a crush on someone? Do I know her? Seras said teasing.

- Shut up! I'm just interested of human habits. I never have a crush on anyone! Goddamn I'm the most evilest vampire in the world. I only care for myself!

Victoria laughted.

- Well, if you are that interested maybe I could tell.

- Thank you.

- Before you tell that to anyone you should have a shower. You stink really bad.

- I don't stink!

- Yes you do. Well anyway, first impression is important. You should wear your best clothes. You seems to never have any other clothes than those so it's good. The clothes must tell the others who you are.

- Should I write my name in my clothes?

- No, I didn't mean that. Clothes should tell the others what kind of a person you are. You should also wear some parfyme or something that has beautifull scent.

- Okay, I got it. But how can I say it? I mean of course I'm not saying anything to anyone but let's imagine there is some guy. How could this guy say it to his beloved?

- If he is a shy person he could write her a letter. Is he shy?

Alucard thought that for a moment. He wasn't shy, he was just scared.

- No, he isn't shy. But he is a bit scared of her somehow. Maybe her reaction would scare him most.

- He shouldn't be scared. It's normal that sometimes you can't have who you want but you never have her if you don't even try.

- Okay, maybe this guy is a bit shy.

- Then the letter would be the best. He should write something beutiful of her and leave it to somewhere she could find it. After couple of letters he could ask her to meet him in some secret place. He should bring some flowers to her.

- Yes! Now I'm ready...I mean now he is ready to go seduce this beautiful creature!

Alucard left without thankin to his room to write a letter to Walter.

Next day on kitchen:

Walter was making tea to sir Integral. He sang something from his own mind and was making some dance moves.

- I should've become a dancer, he said to himself smiling.

When he took some teabags he found a piece of paper among them.

- What have we here?

It was written with black ink and it was smeared from some places.

- What a hell...

It was saying:

You got some tight little ass.


	3. Make me Beautiful

New chapter is finally up. This time I used quote markers ?cos I obey my readers like a dog 'cos I've been listening too much of Iggy Pop lately.Oh, by the way one guy didn't review after reading my story and now all that is left from him is one finger. So look out for the naughty little alcoholicbunnymonster.

Today was very special day. He went shopping. He was going to buy some parfume and new clothes. Seras was right, he never wear anything else than the same red clothes. Of course red was very beautiful colour, the colour of his eyes but he wanted something totally different when he would meet Walter. First he went to place called Punk'd Ladies. He thought it was kind of a stupid name for a shop, actually a stupid name for anything but when he saw a tight black shirt with badly drawn letter-A in the window he was in love. He also found black leather pants and cool high-heeled boots. He paid everything with creditcard stolen from Integral. He was wondering why he was the only male in the shop but didin?t bothered to think it after lefting the building.

Next he went to a big mall. There were everything. But first he had to find some parfum. It had to expensive, only best for him.

"Excuse me, where can I found parfums?" he asked some guys around.

"I remember seeing one cosmethic shop upstairs", boy in yellow coat answered.

Upstrairs then. It was really painful to actually use his feets but what can you do when there are so many people around. Finally a place called Beautimatic caught his eyes. It was written above the door with big silvery-glittered letters. It was so beautiful. Well naturally not as beautiful as his hard and long "little guy" witch wasn't actually so little (meaning his gun you pervert!).

After admiring the letters for a while, he went in. Suddenly he was surrounded with most beautiful scents.

There was a fat lady behind the desk. She was wearing way too much make-up and was smiling artificial smile when saw Alucard.

"Can I help you somehow, sir", she asked still smiling.

"I'm looking for some parfums."

"How nice. Is it for your girlfriend?"

"No. For me."

"Oh...we got some nice after-shaves for men."

"Do you have anything that smells like flowers? I love flowers."

"Um...well we have lot of...parfums that smells like flowers but no after-shaves."

"Well good then. Can I have some?"

She was looking oddly at him but she smelt money from his direction 'cos only rich weirdos would be dressed like that. She took the most expensive parfum from the shelf.

"This is called Flower Gem. It is very passionate and same time so sensual."

She sprayed some of it to a little stripe and offered to him.

"Here, can you feel the strong emotions that comes from this sensitive scent."

"Yes! I can feel it. It's so strong and sensitive like my _little guy_."

The sales lady obvious didn't get the _little guy_ so she was kind of a freaked out.

"I'll take three bottles of that. And oh, do you have something for my hair. I got such a ragged hair. I need it to be soft and shiny..."

Three hours later:

"That makes 3067$."

He gave Integral's creditcard to the sales lady. He never would've guessed that it took so much to look beautiful. In addition to the parfum he also had a face treatment and his eyebrowns picked and eyelashes coloured, some body lotions with beautiful scents and something to make his hair soft and shiny.

Back to Hellsing mansion:

"Alucard have you done something with your face?" asked Integral when he tried sneak into her room to return the creditcard back.

"Oh, you noticed! You think I look better now?" he said and quickly hide the creditcard under some papers on Integrals desk.

"You look like girl. And what on earth is that smell? Do you wear parfum?"

"Yes, it's called flower gem. You like it? You must like it. It was 400 per bottle."

"What! And where did you get the money for that?"

"Ummm... I'm sorry I just remebered something. Must hurry. Bye, bye."

He went through wall fast so Integral didn't have time to say anything.

"What on earth is wrong with that vampire?"she asked herself.


End file.
